Baseball 2001: What Will Happen

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Herewith, our quick and dirty guide to the new season. Take these predictions to the bank, baby; even the ones that don't quite agree. After all, in baseball, as in life, a little ambiguity is the lagniappe that holds the ole cowhide together. See y'all in October.



PREDICTIONS FOR THE 2001 MLB SEASON
PAUL KATCHER CATEGORY MARK COATNEY
1. Editorials in July will argue that each All-Star team should be allotted 80 roster spots
2. A batter will hit .430 in April and adorn the cover of Sports Illustrated. He'll finish the season at .329
3. A star player will endure a major slump due to unrevealed marital or substance-abuse challenges. The public will think he's got a back problem
Things Guaranteed to Happen 1. Bob Costas will be described as "The conscience of baseball"
2. A pitcher will credit the good Lord for helping him throw a two-hit shutout
3. Manny Ramirez will get picked off first base
1. Newly acquired Rockies Mike Hampton and Denny Neagle will not petition manager Buddy Bell to pitch only in home games
2. Nobody will come close to breaking Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hitting streak. Not this year; not for 100 years
3. Champagne delivery truck drivers will not have any problem getting past the Yankee Stadium guard they've become friends with over the past three years
Things Guaranteed Not to Happen 1. Bob Costas will be described as "That guy who doesn't know a thing about the game"
2. A pitcher will blame the good Lord for helping him throw the pitch that was hit for a game-winning home run
3. Jason Giambi will hit an inside-the-park home run
1. Alex Rodriguez, SS, Rangers: Even if he doesn't win it, he can buy the trophy from whomever does
2. Derek Jeter, SS, Yankees: Does everything magnificently except clear the yard. Like Steinbrenner cares
3. Pedro Martinez, P, Red Sox: He's the guy every GM would start a team with, yet writers won't vote him MVP
AL MVP 1. Jason Giambi, 1B, A's: With Johnny Damon setting the table, Giambi will drive in more than 160 runs
2. Ivan Rodriguez, C, Rangers: There's too much pressure on Texas' quarter-bil man; Pudge will thrive
3. Juan Gonzalez, OF, Indians: Healthier and (for now) happier outfielder could have a monster year
1. Vladimir Guerrero, RF, Expos: Finished among NLs top five in all Triple Crown categories last season
2. Mike Piazza, C, Mets: Gives Mets lethal offensive production from the catcher position. That's value
3. Andruw Jones, CF, Braves: Performed better in 2000 than that center fielder in Cincy
NL MVP 1. Barry Bonds, OF, Giants: Entering what could be his final contract year; expect big numbers in Pac Bell
2. Vladmir Guerrero, OF, Expos: Could provide the answer to the question "If a home run is hit in Montreal, does anyone hear it?"
3. Mike Piazza, C, Mets: Along with Jeff Bagwell, maybe the best bad hitter in the history of baseball
1. Pedro Martinez, P, Red Sox: Unless batters have been fooling us for several years, nobody will hit him in 2001, either
2. Roger Clemens, P, Yankees: Back in the saddle as the true ace of his staff
3. Mike Mussina, P, Yankees: Hard to see this marriage not working out
AL Cy Young 1. Pedro Martinez, Red Sox: Unless the Yankees have him kneecapped, this is the surest bet in sports
2. Tim Hudson, A's: An emerging star
3. Roger Clemens, Yankees: Still in probably the best physical condition of any AL pitcher
1. Greg Maddux, P, Braves: Posted his second-worst ERA (3.00) in nine seasons and still finished third in Cy Young voting last year
2. Randy Johnson, P, Diamondbacks: We'd like to see the Big Unit try to kill two birds with one stone
3. Kevin Brown, P, Dodgers: L.A. scored a total of 10 runs in his six losses
NL Cy Young 1. Kevin Brown, Dodgers: Won with little run support last year; that should get better this time around
2. Randy Johnson, Diamondbacks: There's a bird-in-the-hand joke here somewhere, but we're not going to stoop so low
3. Greg Maddux, Braves: Injuries might cost him, but still capable of dominating the league
AL East: Yankees
AL Central: Indians
AL West: A's
NL East: Braves
NL Central: Cardinals
NL West: Diamondbacks
Division Winners AL East: Yankees
AL Central: Royals
AL West: A's
NL East: Braves
NL Central: Cardinals
NL West: Giants
AL: White Sox
NL: Giants
Wild Cards AL: Indians
NL: Mets
AL: Yankees over A's
NL: Braves over Diamondbacks
LCS AL: Yankees over A's
NL: Cardinals over Giants
Yankees over Braves World Series Yankees over Cardinals