The Gallstone Conspiracy

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Likely story #1: Janet Reno, about to make her final decision on the appointment of an independent counsel suddenly embarks on a trip to Mexico. Then, practically in the doorway of a convention center full of fellow prosecutors, she faints dead away.

Gallstones? Or some slow-acting poison, slipped in Reno's tomato juice at a Washington steakhouse? Whatever it was, the A-G pulled through and made it to the conference's second day. Just don't be surprised if, after submitting to "observation" at the Estado Mayor Presidencial military hospital, she starts responding "Al who?" to all questions about her upcoming decision ...

Likely story #2: This past Saturday a UC Berkeley student, whipping up school spirit before the big Stanford-Cal game, pens a satirical column in his school paper urging readers to "show your spirit on Chelsea's bloodied carcass" because the First Daughter "embodies the Stanford ethos of establishment worship that must be subverted and destroyed."

Monday, a team of Secret Service agents searched his room for weapons and other signs of nutdom like "pictures of Chelsea with X's through them or something like that," according to the writer, Guy Branum adding that the agents also had him sign a release giving them access to his medical records.

Oh, and Chelsea's team won the game by a point. Funny, that.