Bay of Potatoes

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Couch Potato took the time to call three of Hollywood's most qualified action directors, all pals of his, and ask them the question of the week: What to do about Saddam? The panel:

Fred Zinnemann, director of Day of the Jackal (1973). Stellar credentials. Disgruntled French righties hire a British assassin (Edward Fox as The Jackal) to kill Charles De Gaulle. At a theater near you, in remake form. Is Bruce Willis really that hard to recognize?

John Sturges, The Eagle Has Landed (1976). In WWII's final days, Michael Caine spearheads a Nazi plot to take Winston Churchill back to Berlin dead or alive. Chock-full cast, from Duvall to Donald Sutherland, Donald Pleasance (with some hair) to Anthony Quayle (miscast) and on the American side, Treat Williams and Larry Hagman(!).

Luc Besson, La Femme Nikita (1990). Anne Parillaud is a slinky yet conflicted hitwoman in Paris. Must be seen, if only for the Jean Reno cameo. Sadly, a promising American remake was dragged down by Dermot Mulroney. Skip it.

Sturges and Zinneman voted for Bay of Baghdad, followed by the insertion of a puppet government headed by Al D'Amato. Besson was drunk on port; most of his suggestions were unprintable, even on the Web. But if anyone knows a really good assassin, Tariq Aziz asks that you give him a call at his hotel before he leaves town. Or leave a message with me, the Couch Potato. Good weekend.