Nothing to See Here

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ROBY, Ill.: Cancel the black helicopters: The five-week siege of Shirley Ann Allen by Illinois police has ended without incident apparently when Ms. Allen simply wandered out the back door.

After beating the tear gas with petroleum jelly; after holding off deputies with a shotgun; after shooting a police dog in the nose; the 51-year-old Ms. Allen must have decided shed had enough. She was immediately taken into custody by police, who will now ensure that the court-ordered psychiatric evaluation that started it all is finally carried out.

It has been an expensive and occasionally laughable standoff, but also a successful one. Concerned militiamen may now return to their homes.