Honest Bob Steps Up

WASHINGTON: Bob Dole has done his best to look like a nice guy ever since he flamed in '96. Until now, his master strokes have been appearing on Letterman and taking a well-paid fall for Visa during the last Superbowl. But Dole topped that yesterday when he offered to answer questions in public on alleged campaign finance abuses.

"I do not believe that I personally participated in any questionable activity or personally violated any existing law," he said in a letter hand delivered to committee chair Fred Thompson. Fred commended Bob's bravery, and wished only that Bill could be so courageous.

"I presume that by cooking up this little stunt, committee Republicans are simply acknowledging that their investigation into more serious matters has failed," said Jim Jordan, a spokesman for Senate Democrats on the panel - adding that he couldn't see how Dole's appearance would be relevant, "although it might be enjoyable." Quite. Dole is certainly no Gipper, but he does know how to wear that Teflon coating.