Funny Girl

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KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia: Not since Boris Yeltsin danced that frenzied jig during his presidential campaign has there been such musical nuttiness among the world's leaders. Dressed in sultry black, with a red orchid in her hair and femme-fatale red on her lips, Secretary of State Madeleine Albright held an audience of foreign ministers spellbound Monday night as she belted out a rendition of "Don't Cry For Me" at a diplomatic dinner:

"Don't cry for me President Clinton,
"You thought that you could send me
"Out Middle East way
"But here I'm in K.L."

"Don't cry for me ASEANies
"The truth is I never left you
"Through my U.N. days
"My mad existence
"I've kept my promise
"Don't keep your distance. . ."

Albright was only the opening act. Rotund Russian Foreign Minister Yevgeny Primakov, decked out in the striped garb of a Black Sea Navy sailor, was judged a close second for his delegation's hearty performance of "Moscow Nights" ("The Russkies are your friends...."), while a troupe of breakdancing South Korean diplomats easily won the award for "Most Outrageous."

All in all, truly unsettling.