On Top of the Covers

Are you ready for some football? Does anybody ever answer "no" to that question? Certainly not any of us here at the spartan training camp that is the TIME.com nerve center, a happy place where religion and politics have reached an uneasy truce but the NFL is welcome at any hour. Returning for a second straight year are Long Island Slim, Mean Josie Greene and the K.C. Line, fresh off a rigorous off-season conditioning program and some cracklin' spring minicamp performances and ready to tackle the big questions facing the league in Week One, like "What gives with those new Rams duds, anway?" Please remember that our picks are worth exactly what you pay for them. And as always, past performance is not an indication of future results. Which is the best news we've had since last season.

The Line

Favorite	Line	Dog
PACKERS	2 1/2	Jets
GIANTS	6 1/2	Cardinals
REDSKINS	10 1/2	Panthers
VIKINGS	4 1/2	Bears
Ravens	2 1/2	STEELERS
Colts	3	CHIEFS
Jaguars	10 1/2	BROWNS
Bucs	3	PATRIOTS
FALCONS	7	49'ers
SAINTS	Pick	Lions
COWBOYS	6	Eagles
DOLPHINS	2	Seahawks
RAIDERS	6 1/2	Chargers
BILLS	Pick	Titans
RAMS	6 1/2	Broncos

The Picks:
Mean Josie Greene
It's hard to believe it's that time again — time to stick my proverbial finger in the proverbial air (we don't get a lot of ventilation in here, so I have to use my imagination) and pick a few winners. Judging by my performance last year, any serious betting (which is, of course, illegal, kids) should be guided by my colleagues' picks. If you just want a good chuckle on Monday morning, this is the place for you.

Jets
Cardinals
REDSKINS
VIKINGS
STEELERS
Colts
BROWNS
Bucs
49'ers
SAINTS
Eagles
Seahawks
RAIDERS
BILLS
Broncos

Long Island Slim
Ah, fall. This season, my young man's fancy is turning to thoughts of football... and how crappy I did at this last year (although I was ahead when I left town). So Week One will be a bold experiment: Pick the favorites, all the way, and see what the Post's oddsmakers are made of.

PACKERS
GIANTS
REDSKINS
VIKINGS
RAVENS
Colts
Jags
Bucs
FALCONS
SAINTS
COWBOYS
DOLPHINS
RAIDERS
BILLS
RAMS

The K.C. Line
Where have you gone, Y. A. Tittle? Our prognosticators turn their lonely eyes to you and ask "What the--? Can't anybody play this game?" Exhibit A: Miami, where the 'Fins start off the year 1 AM (after Marino) with either Damon Huard or Jay Fiedler calling the signals. On the other side, Mr. Jon Kitna steps in to try to make Mike Holmgren forget Brett Favre, which is a bit like trying to make Gwyneth forget Brad. Not a great game to watch, or to pick, but making the tough calls is what the Line is all about, so take the Hawks and two points, and remember to tip your bartender.

The Rest:
PACKERS
GIANTS
REDSKINS
Bears
Ravens
CHIEFS
Jaguars
Bucs
FALCONS
Lions
Eagles
RAIDERS
BILLS
RAMS