THE DARK SIDE OF ANN LANDERS

Ann Landers could use a little advice. The columnist, who cheerfully uttered a grab-bag of insults about famous figures in a New York magazine profile published this week, today apologized to the Polish Roman Catholic Union of America for having called Pope John Paul II a "polack" in the article. "It's time to get out the wet noodle and give myself 40 lashes," read a statement. "I should not have used a slang term for Polish. It was poor judgment, and I apologize." Landers, who once topped a World Almanac poll as the most influential woman in the United States, may be issuing more statements soon. In the profile, Geraldo Rivera Rivera comes off as "trashy," President John F. Kennedy as "the womanizer from hell" and Eleanor Roosevelt as "a big woman. I was amazed when I met her. I mean, she's huge."