Last night, on a sad but very erotic "Survivor":
Well, first the non-erotic part.
"I had intended for a very long time to celebrate my birthday naked," Richard says. He is forced by popular demand and perhaps by the crack in his, er, alliance — to put on some clothes in time for the Tribal Council that evening.
Richard's days may be numbered. Susan seems ready to bolt the bloc, Kelly looks up for grabs, and now that the island's females have caught a fish, they've turned on him. Only Sean's alphabet-voting method — which was very humane, sure, until it drew Richard's gang to Jenna like sharks to blood — saved Richard's blurry butt this time.
"When my wife asks me who I was here with," said the politically incorrect Rudy, "I'll say a queer that ran around bare-ass half the time."
And then it got sexy. Colleen and Kelly lunging across the web of ropes, Colleen and Jenna plotting an alliance of their own over BBQ, Bud and smiles. Colleen perched in a tree, her tattoo showing. Women giggling. Women fishing. Women rubbing stuff on each other's backs. And that tantalizing shot of Colleen and Jenna, swinging in the hammocks? Those editors know what they're doing.
"I even thought about lesbianism, actually," said Rudy.
We all did, Rudy. We all did.
And so the saga continues. Will Richard finally outlive his welcome, now that the ladies can bring home sustenance (one fish)? Will Sean change his Swiss voting ways, now that he's been a Tool of Richard? Will Colleen and Jenna, frolicking playfully in the surf one day, give CBS the 18-34 male demographic boost of its life by looking into each others' eyes and...
Oh, that's right. Jenna's gone.
Sean, you bastard.