A TIME Daily Tennis Tip: Venus Has the Orbit

Richard Williams has invited himself to a friend of a friend's funeral in order to avoid the paternal pain of watching a grinning, shrieking, fist-pumping blood match between daughters Venus and Serena on Centre Court at Wimbledon Thursday. "One of them is going to be buried," Williams said. "I might as well go to a real funeral. At least I get the music."

The rest of us will be stuck with the fanfare — after being treated to such sparkling pre-match headlines as "Advantage: Williams" and "Sister Act," the face-off will get even more publicity than the undercard: a showdown between curvaceous second-round flameout Anna Kournikova and a full-length mirror.

The sisters (and doubles partners) each predict victory and no hard feelings; Dad hedged his bets, putting 50 pounds sterling on each daughter on his way out of town. TIME Daily's five bucks is on Venus, who overpowered Martina Hingis to get to the semifinal and has taken three of four career matches from her younger, shorter sis. Though Serena took the U.S. Open last year and was touted as the sister to beat, family karma suggests it's Venus's turn to take her shot in a major final.

Then again, who cares? One Williams is sure to advance, and one is sure to lose. Try choosing instead between poor Jelena Dokic, whose own dad was escorted out of the All England Tennis Club for cell-phone smashing, intemperate flag-waving and profane anti-Clinton diatribes, or the real buzz underdog, publicity-deprived Lindsay Davenport, who actually prefers it that way.