BEN & JERRY'S . . . GOOD ICE CREAM, BAD POETRY

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After a long and unusual search, Vermont ice cream maker Ben & Jerry's has found a new CEO to replace retiring co-founder Ben Cohen. In its "Yo! I Want to be CEO!" contest, applicants were told to submit a 100-word essay and the lid of their favorite Ben & Jerry's flavor. The winner: Robert Holland Jr., who until recently headed a turnaround company that bought and sold troubled firms. The erstwhile 60's idealists at Ben & Jerry's admitted that Holland's experience as a Fortune 100 business consultant got him the job. It definitely wasn't his entry, a poem "Time, Values and Ice Cream," a syrupy nostalgia-fest that mentions "swivel stools, cozy booths, and sweet, sweet smells . . . Sometimes, dear 'Merica, of thee I simply hum."