Rashomon on the Potomac: Four Views of Obama

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Olivier Douliery-Pool / Getty Images

President Obama, during a speech about job gains in Hyattsville, Md., on June 4, 2010

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A Short History of the Obama Administration, by the Right:

Nov. 5, 2008: Barack Obama is elected the 43rd President of the United States. Life will never be the same again.

Jan. 20, 2009: Obama is sworn in. Cold day in Washington, isn't it?

February 2009: A multibillion-dollar stimulus bill passes with almost exclusively Democratic votes. See, we told you this man wasn't serious about working with us. How many seats do we need to win to take control of Congress in 2010?

March 2009: Obama engineers a huge federal bailout of the Detroit auto companies. Those of us who said this would be the most liberal President in the nation's history were almost right. In fact, he's clearly a socialist.

May 2009: Obama nominates Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court. Media bias, a short paper trail and Latino politics will keep us from derailing this nomination.

Summer and fall, 2009: Obama fights in vain to pass a health care bill. Conservatives must all hang together, or surely we will hang separately — kill the bill!

October 2009: Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize. Holy moly, that was undeserved.

January 2010: Scott Brown wins Ted Kennedy's Massachusetts Senate seat in a special election, after the GOP wins the Virginia and New Jersey gubernatorial contests. Democrats are dead, and the only thing more alive than the Republican Party is the Tea Party movement.

March 2010: Health care passes with only Democratic votes; we will take control of Congress in 2010.

May 2010: Obama nominates Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court. Whatever — forget Supreme Court fights and let's focus on the economy.

Spring 2010: Obama faces BP's massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. He is a ditherer, he is incompetent — and hands off the private sector, bub.

A Short History of the Obama Administration, by Barack Obama:

Nov. 5, 2008: I am elected the 43rd President of the United States. Sort of surprised it took this long.

Jan. 20, 2009: I am sworn in. With these approval ratings, I can get things done.

February 2009: A multibillion-dollar stimulus bill passes with almost exclusively Democratic votes; I just saved the world economy and cleaned up Bush's mess — obviously, Republicans will pay a price for not working with me.

March 2009: My Administration engineers a huge federal bailout of the Detroit auto companies. Yet another case where I've found a balanced solution to a seemingly intractable problem.

May 2009: I nominate Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court. A solid pick that plays demographic politics brilliantly and avoids a distracting battle.

Summer and fall, 2009: I've been fighting, so far in vain, to pass a health care bill. No matter what anyone else thinks, I know that if I don't pass universal health care as my first big domestic priority, it won't get done in my eight years in office, so let's stay at it. (And yes, I said "eight years.")

October 2009: I win the Nobel Peace Prize. Well, that was way premature.

January 2010: Scott Brown wins Ted Kennedy's Massachusetts Senate seat in a special election, after the GOP wins the Virginia and New Jersey gubernatorial contests. Finally, the leverage I need to pass health care without a big House-Senate fight. (And I think I can work with this guy.)

March 2010: Health care passes with only Democratic votes; this time, Vice President Joe Biden said it just right.

May 2010: I nominate Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court. A solid pick that plays demographic politics just fine and avoids a distracting fight.

Spring 2010: I am faced with BP's massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. I'm doing everything I possibly (and rationally) can to deal with this, but I know I'm not going to get any credit until the leak stops. But that could be awhile, I have the entire world's problems on my plate, and I didn't cause the spill, so I'm not going to put myself in a position where I have to demand my life back. (Plus, I work morning, noon and night, so if I want a little downtime with Michelle and the girls — and Macca — I deserve it.)

And so we begin Chapter 2.

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