"homeless" doll "Gwen" with a $95 price tag is marketed by
American Police Force
control of empty Hardin, Montana, jail is turned over to, despite the lengthy criminal record of the leader of, and despite the utter shadiness of the entire enterprise, because, as the deal-maker says, "What have we got to lose?"
guns are now allowed in bars in, unless there's a sign banning them, but if the sign has fallen down it's okay to bring them in
Bachmann, Representative Michele
possibility is raised by that if health care reform passes, Planned Parenthood "could become a proprietor" for "school sex clinics" in "every school across the United States" and "someone's 13-year-old daughter could walk into a sex clinic, have a pregnancy test done, be taken away to the local Planned Parenthood abortion clinic, have their abortion, be back and go home on the school bus that night," and though the probability of such an event is roughly .0000001 in a gazillion bazillion, not a soul in the House chamber laughs out loud at
Vancouver is said by to have "lost, how much was it, they lost a billion dollars when they had the Olympics," which, of course, the city will host next year
President Obama is idiotically referred to as "sun-tanned" by
first infomercial by features attorney named Gary Kreep
Boehner, House Minority Leader John
astonishingly sheltered life of
threatened political future of
tango partner of is almost dropped by
Ensign, Senator John
examination of the unethical-at-best and maybe even illegal efforts of to hush up the unhappy husband of the mistress of may yet end the career of
observation by that "celebrity is just obscurity biding its time"
deleterious effects on brains of professional players of
527 group of rescinds Entrepreneur of the Year Award bestowed upon the owner of a topless club the same award that was earlier given to and then quickly taken away from a porn executive
Grayson, Representative Alan
Democrats are urged by to show some "guts" after characterization of Republicans by as "foot-dragging, knuckle-dragging Neanderthals" whose health plan consists of wanting sick people to "die quickly" is not apologized for
Michael Moore is asked by if he wrote "The Times They Are A-Changin'"
sex with staff members is confessed to by in order to thwart extortion plot against
Moon, Rev. Sun Myung
newspaper owned by gives extremely favorable review to autobiography of
head of comes in sudden contact with slippery floor
nation is seen by to be demanding "fresh celebrity meat"
"book" "by" is eagerly looked forward to by Rick Santorum, who offers this little-held opinion: "She has a gift for prose"
omission of from 2010 "Great American Conservative Women" calendar
resistance among lecture bookers to paying big money to for speeches by because of their perception Rick Santorum's opinion notwithstanding that "she is a blithering idiot"
Pope Benedict III
spider crawls on during sermon by
bizarre reminder of the continued existence of
intention of to continue "long, hard fight" against CBS
more bad publicity for
Reid, Senate Majority Leader Harry
Columbus Day recess is unflinchingly cancelled by so that, despite their alleged "veto-proof supermajority," Democratic senators can continue to fail to back the public health care option supported by the vast majority of the people who elected them, while simultaneously exhibiting the pathetic pusillanimity to authorize the allocation of huge sums of money that could be better spent on almost anything to pet projects of the far right fringe for example, $50 million to the ludicrously ineffective "abstinence only education" program, leaving solicited donors to the re-election campaign of to wonder why they would want to pay money for six more years of the uselessness of
infamous alliteration of
speech written by in case Apollo 11 astronauts were stranded on the moon
Sanford, Governor Mark
efforts of to block the release of the findings of a state ethics panel investigation lest they aid those seeking the impeachment of
"How To Take Back America" conference is headed by
yucky new development in
Nike shamelessly reinvolves itself with