This Preposterous Week! Paul Slansky's News Index

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John Shearer / TCA 2009 / WireImage / Getty

Singer Miley Cyrus performs onstage during the Teen Choice Awards 2009, held at the Gibson Amphitheatre on Aug. 9, 2009, in Universal City, Calif.

Bachmann, Representative Michele
• AmeriCorps, a program recently attacked by as "re-education camps for young people ... as a parent, I would have a very, very difficult time seeing my children do this," is — ha! — joined by the son of
mere reporting of Harrison Bachmann's joining AmeriCorps is disingenuously attacked by as "a hit piece on one of my kids!"

Blagojevich, Rod
• new career of as Elvis impersonator

Bush, George W.
• conservative economist Bruce Bartlett places blame for current economic crisis squarely on

Cheney, Dick
• contempt of for White House insiders who went on to write tell-all memoirs is apparently being withheld by from self

Clinton, Secretary of State Hillary
• misunderstood Congolese student receives inappropriate tongue-lashing from

Cyrus, Miley
• Disney Channel declines to comment on slutty Teen Choice Awards performance by

Dylan, Bob
Christmas album is being recorded by

Edwards, John
imminent admission by that, despite a year of absurd denials by, a DNA test shows that Rielle Hunter's baby bears an uncanny resemblance to because — duh! — she was fathered by

England, Lynddie
unrepentant comparison by of Abu Ghraib abuse to what "happens at colleges and dorm rooms or whatever here in the U.S. all the time"

genuinely funny song about

Family Guy
live performance of abortion episode Fox is declining to broadcast
Stewie is outed by the creator of

• assurances by Obama that the plug will not be pulled on

Griffin, Keith
• blame for child pornography found on the computer of is placed by on the cat of, who supposedly jumped on the keyboard during the brief absence of, resulting in "strange things" being downloaded

several people show up at town-hall meetings with, which freaks out Chris Matthews

summer of

health care
shocking discovery about

Hudson River
footage of midair crash over

Investors Business Daily
idiotic claim is made by that physically handicapped scientist Stephen Hawking would have been condemned to death by the British health-care system if he'd had the misfortune to live in England, where, of course, he's lived for all of his 67 years

Lee, Representative Sheila Jackson
• suggestion by that footage showing talking on cell phone by while being asked a question at a town-hall meeting may be "a doctored video"

Martinez, Senator Mel
Palinesque quitting of

Obama, President Barack
deal with pharmaceutical lobby may or may not have been made by
Orly Taitz says all the gay lovers of were killed by — and then she says lots of other crazy stuff
similarities to Hitler of

Palin, Sarah
Facebook warning by about Obama's "death panel" maybe killing the handicapped infant of is followed by plea by for civility at town-hall meetings, which is followed by footnotes by, which is followed by even more footnotes, which means someone other than is writing the entries for
mocking impersonator of fools fans of on Facebook
new tweets from are about to rear their head

Paul, Les
death of at the age of 94

shocking discovery about

• Thom Yorke says there'll be no more albums from

Sanford, Jenny
• South Carolina governor's mansion is unsurprisingly moved out of by

Sanford, Mark
political deadness of is acknowledged by

Santorum, Rick
• self is delusionally seen by as a possible future President

Shriver, Eunice Kennedy
death of at the age of 88

• dogs are at least as smart as

40th anniversary of