In the 1980s, you never made a sandwich when Darryl Strawberry stepped up to the plate. You couldn't keep your eyes off that long, looping swing that sent many moon shots into the right field seats. He even once hit a ball that sailed so high, it struck the roof of Montreal's Olympic Stadium. Strawberry was a near-lock for the Hall of Fame.
Suddenly, however, it all stopped. After leaving the New York Mets for the Los Angeles Dodgers after the 1990 season, drug and alcohol addiction killed Strawberry's career. He enjoyed a resurgence as a role player with the great New York Yankees teams of the late-1990s. But even that ride ended badly, with Strawberry in jail for using drugs once again. Now the ex-Rookie of the Year offers a raw, honest portrayal of his story in a new autobiography, Straw: Finding My Way. The book comes out April 28th: Strawberry talked to Time's Sean Gregory about abuse, regrets, and how he's trying to move forward. (Read "Mental Health for Mets Fans.")
Most athlete autobiographies are pretty mundane and predictable, but the opening sentence of your book certainly grabs the reader: "I'll kill all y'all," the drunk with the shotgun raged. You then detail your father's abuse of you and your brothers, and the moment your family stood up to him and forced him to leave for good. What made you want to open up about all this?
I think because every opinion has been out there about me, and no one really knew who I was. I think people just portrayed me as this person that had everything, and just didn't appreciate it. They had no idea I had these issues in me from day one.
Was the book painful to write?
Yes, it was painful. But there was freedom in it. Most guys that have written about my life, they never lived through the abuse I had to go through. I just felt it was time to share who I am. I'm free from all that now.
What are you trying to accomplish writing this book?
It's not about me. It's about who I help. When I see people on the streets that are homeless, I think 'that could have been me if I had quit.' Everything I wrote in this book I went through, and I went through it publicly. If I didn't get up and quit, hopefully that could encourage other people not to quit.
You could have been a Hall of Famer if the substance abuse and other problems hadn't derailed your career. Does that gnaw at you at all?
No, it doesn't gnaw at me. Of course sometimes I think about it. But I use a line from Mickey Mantle all the time. "If I would have known I was this good, I would have taken better care of myself." It is what is. I lived it, and I am grateful for the greatness I did accomplish.
It's no mystery that the 1986 New York Mets were a wild bunch. "When the Mets came to your town it was like Mardi Gras," you write. "The clubs would be packed, waiting for us to roll in. Guys wanted to get next to us and buy us drinks or take us into the men's room and lay out a few rails of coke . . .The only hard part for us was choosing which hottie to take back to your hotel room." You include a couple of anecdotes about your own sexual trysts. Why share that detail?
Because it's the truth. This is not about some writer hearing it out of someone's mouth. This is about what I experienced myself. Am I proud of it? No. It's nothing to be bragging about. It was how the game was in the 80s.
You left the New York Mets after the 1990 season as a free agent, and signed with your hometown Los Angeles Dodgers. How did that decision impact your career?
It was nightmare. I was accustomed to the atmosphere in New York. I was accustomed to playing under the pressure. I was accustomed to people yelling and booing when you weren't playing well. I thought it would be great to go home to California. It's baseball, but it's not intensity baseball. It's more laid back. The fans come late and leave early. I was like 'Oh, my God.' Because the fans play a big part of what you can be.
You recently said that if steroids were prevalent during your early playing days in the 1980s, you would have taken them. Why?
Most people would say the opposite. But who are we kidding? Everybody in sports is competitive. Everybody wants to get the edge. I probably wouldn't be the only one.
What do you think of Alex Rodriguez?
I love the guy. He's a great guy, I just think he's unfairly treated. He's a remarkable ballplayer. I think everybody has just picked on him because he's the one that has the humongous contract.
But what about his steroid use? The fact that he admitted to cheating earlier in his career?
You know what, I understand. I understand him saying he was stupid and he was naïve. You are naïve when you're 24, 25 years old. He's a kid still. A-Rod, [Roger] Clemens, those of us who've made mistakes in life, we're no different than those little girls that run around in Hollywood and act crazy too. Britney Spears, the Lindsay Lohans, it's not different than what they do.
You won three world championships with the New York Yankees. What do you say to the fans in, say, Kansas City and Pittsburgh, who see the Yankees as an "Evil Empire" because of all the money they can spend on players?
They can think what they want. We want to win in New York. You represent New York when you put on the uniform, either the Yankees uniform or the Met uniform. There are a lot of people in New York that have to suffer and stress through life. It's a difficult place, and they deserve the best. They don't deserve a mediocre team that's not trying to win every year.
Of the pitchers in today's game, who would be the toughest for you to face?
Johan Santana [of the New York Mets] would be one of them. He's phenomenal. He reminds me so much of what Doc Gooden once was. You give him runs early enough, he's going to win that ballgame. Doc Gooden was the same way. You give him three runs early, you can close the door on it.
The Mets just moved from Shea Stadium, an old and rundown ballpark that was commonly described as a "dump," to sparkling new Citi Field. Do you miss Shea?
I miss Shea. I've got no memories at Citi Field. All my memories are at Shea.