Paul Slansky's Weekly Index of the News

  • Share
  • Read Later
Jordan Silverman / Getty

Two people sit in the House Chambers with their sign moments before the House convened for a veto override vote for the same sex Civil Marriage law at Vermont's State House in Montpelier, Vermont.

Arizona State University
• Obama is deemed unworthy of an honorary degree by

Bachmann, Rep. Michele
• new lunacy is uttered by, this one about the national service organization AmeriCorps being a front for "re-education camps for young people"

Bachus, Rep. Spencer
• number of "socialists" in the House of Representatives is put at 17 by

baseball season
sad start of

Beck, Glenn
• new lunacy is demonstrated by, this one involving pouring pretend gasoline on someone to make some point or another about Obama

bow ties
ostensible coolness of, now that Tucker Carlson's collar is unadorned by

Brown, Betty
• Asian-American voters are advised by that "it would behoove" them to change their names to ones that are "easier for Americans to deal with," because the only alternative apparently seen by — "everyone here having to learn Chinese," which is understood by to be "a rather difficult language" — is unappealing to

Bunning, Sen. Jim
dim re-election prospects of

Bush, George W.
• absence of has not made the hearts of the public grow fonder of

Cheney, Dick
• Vice President Biden begs to differ — "he is dead wrong" — with

oblivious hilarity of

gay marriage
legalization of in Iowa and Vermont

General Motors
• bankruptcy is seemingly anticipated by

• deaths of 57 people in 8 rampages in the past month are caused by

hot dogs
• increasing numbers of people formerly otherwise employed are now buying pushcarts from which to sell

Inhofe, Sen. Jim
• claim is made by that Obama "is disarming America"

severe shaking of

Los Angeles Times
• efforts of to make a front-page advertisement look like a news story

Maffei, Rep. Dan
• appearance of on The Colbert Report is destined to be regretted by

McCain, Meghan
• imminent receipt by of way too much money to "write" a "book"

men's underwear
decline in sales of is interpreted as a sign that the economy is ailing

local versions of

National Organization for Marriage
• mirthful anti-gay-marriage ad by, along with even more mirthful outtakes from said ad

blissfulness of

Obama, President Barack
• favorite TV show of is ... Entourage????

O'Neal, Redmond
• arrest of — mere months after being arrested with father of for possession of meth — for showing up at a Los Angeles jail facility (to which he gave a friend a ride) in possession of heroin

Palin, Sarah
• one can only imagine with enormous delight the displeasure of at the appearance of Levi Johnston on the Tyra Banks show
• one can only imagine with giddy glee the displeasure of at the appearance of Levi Johnston on CBS's Early Show
• one can only imagine with obscene pleasure the displeasure of at the exploitation of self in the new Eminem video
• one can only imagine with purest bliss the displeasure of at the arrest — for breaking into the same home twice to steal a little money — of the half-sister of the husband of

Penn, Kal
• character played by on Housespoiler alert! — kills self

spokesman for explains the unsurprising desire of ("just money")

• army frowns on diagnosing of in Iraq veterans because of the cost of treatment of

Santorum, Rick
• Obama's "deep-seated antipathy toward American values and traditions" is noted by

The Simpsons
• appearance on postage stamps of

Stanford, Allen
• entertaining self-assessment by ("I flew around in a private jet, I had a boat, but I always lived very frugally")

Thornton, Billy Bob
unendearing interview with

war dead
• media coverage of the return to America of is finally allowed after years of inexcusably not being allowed — not that the media made any kind of big deal about it or anything

Warren, Pastor Rick
• rabid opposition to gay marriage of is blatantly lied about to Larry King, who utters not a peep of protest despite easily available videotape of anti-gay-marriage statements by

Will, George
lying of is pointed out by reporters at the Washington Post, which published the column containing said lies by