Bachmann, Rep. Michele
concern of that "we're running out of rich people in this country"
bin Laden, Osama
terrorism of is blamed by Scientologist Dave Figueroa on diabolical psychiatrists
Boozman, Rep. John
complaint of that stimulus bill is "not light reading, it's difficult reading, it involves policy and things" so "right now, because of those things, I will probably vote against it"
Burris, Sen. Roland
possible no, actually, probable perjury by
Bush, George W.
post-White House life of
efforts of to segue into polite society are hampered by public memory that fame of is based on hooker career of
intention of to defy notion that there are no second acts in American lives by embarking on career involving a stripping pole
funny facial hair of
Gillibrand, Sen. Kirsten
guns previously kept under the bed for security by are moved to undisclosed location by because, according to the spokesman for, "the location of the guns has been disclosed"
efforts of to counter stereotyping of Muslims suffers setback after alleged beheading of wife by
inadvisability of keeping 200-pound chimp as house pet is vividly demonstrated to, though, astonishingly, given the horror of the scene, still not vividly enough to prompt statement from that things would have been done differently by if the opportunity was presented to
defacing of political poster in Beirut by reportedly leads to beating of
U.S. is called "a nation of cowards" by for the aversion of its citizens to engage in meaningful conversations about something as huge as race
Hong Kong International Airport
really quite spectacular tantrum is thrown at by woman who missed her flight to San Francisco
Hoover, J. Edgar
obsession of with possible homosexuality of well, everybody, really, but specifically, in this case, Jack Valenti
strange idea of that building a slavery theme park in Nigeria will make people want to go there, since complex would also house Jackson Five memorabilia in case the appeal of the slavery theme proved insufficient
availability for a price of thousands of ridiculous possessions of
Knopf, Alfred A. Jr.
McCain, Sen. John
resignation from position as Japan's fiance minister by after apparent public drunkenness of
New York Post
Rev. Al Sharpton is outraged by
students at barricade selves inside cafeteria of
futility of Republican efforts to prevent victory by
behavioral trend is noted by
abstinence is deemed "not realistic at all" by
Palin, Gov. Sarah
description of as "Dan Quayle with a ponytail"
taxes not paid by on thousands of dollars in meal money fraudulently received by while living at home now hah hah! must be paid by
furor over fatherhood of, given 13-year-oldness of
Pelosi, Rep. Nancy
investigations into Bush administration lawlessness are certainly not ruled out by
explanation of that debunked-by-Holocaust-scholars-as-physically-impossible story about apples tossed over concentration camp fence to by future wife of "wasn't a lie, it was my imagination"
rumors of romance with Courtney Love are emphatically shot down by ("I'd rather be on a deserted island with a gorilla")
excellent new title sequence for
father of questions "mental situation" of
hostile reaction of tens of thousands of total strangers to prompts grim assessment by newly resigned publicists for ("They want to rip her uterus out")
bankruptcy of casino group of is yawn! declared yet again by
hilarious obtuseness of