Tom Cruise arrives at the Los Angeles premiere of Valkyrie.
Blagojevich, Rod
•eagerness of to explain self, and excitement of public at the prospect of hearing the unexplainable attempted to be explained by
•need of to have special hairbrush within reach at all times
•photo of with — of all people! — Richard Nixon surfaces
Brownback, Sam
•Republican exodus from Senate continues with announcement of retirement in 2010 by
Brzezinski, Mika
•inability of to get Joe Scarborough to shut up already about mugging of
Bush, George W.
•claim of to have "never said the Taliban was eliminated" is boldly made by despite on-the-record-and-easily-retrievable comments by in 2003 ("we destroyed the Taliban") and 2004 ("the Taliban is no longer in existence")
•shoes are thrown at
Bush, Laura
•lack of amusement of about need for husband of to dodge shoes
Cheney, Dick
•preternatural certainty of that no wrong decisions were made by
Cruise, Tom
•"I'm Not Crazy Anymore" tour of makes unconvincing stop at The Today Show
Genson, Ed
•defending Blagojevich is described as "fun" by
Hasselbeck, Elisabeth
•invitation to White House Christmas Party is extended to after earlier lack of such invitation is publicly complained about by
Hefner, Hugh
•opinion of that the most shocking thing in new autobiography by was that time back in the late '70s when a sex toy was "almost swallowed" by
Hilton, Paris
•things are claimed to have been learned by
King, Peter
•qualifications of Caroline Kennedy to be New York senator are scoffed at by, three months after McCain's choice of Sarah Palin to be a heartbeat away from the presidency was lauded as "dramatic and historical" by
Kristol, Bill
•resemblance to frog of
Lieberman, Joe
•burgeoning unpopularity of
Madoff, Bernard
•badness of — on so many levels — for the Jews
•hustling people out of $50 billion by is somehow deemed by courts to be a minor enough offense to warrant part-time house arrest — in a luxury apartment, with the freedom to come and go as desired between 9 a.m. and 7 p.m. — rather than actual, you know, 24-hour-a-day JAIL for
Madonna
•publicist of is slapped down by for releasing figures in divorce settlement of -- even though said figures were undoubtedly released at insistence of to demonstrate to public the generosity of -- because press then played story badly and someone had to take the fall for
Obama, Barack
•selection of as TIME's Person of the Year — possibly the most inevitable choice in the history of the feature — is seen as nefarious by Sean Hannity
•selection of Rick Warren by to deliver Inaugural invocation for provides liberals who see no value whatsoever in co-opting the opposition with fabulous opportunity to scream, "Judas!" at
Palin, Bristol
•imminent birth of son of
•incarceration, however brief, of supposed future mother-in-law of
Pellicano, Anthony
•decision of to act as own lawyer looks stupid now
Perino, Dana
•black eye is sustained by in melee following hurling of shoes at boss of
Piven, Jeremy
•role of in Broadway's Speed-the-Plow is abandoned by due to high mercury levels of, prompting playwright David Mamet to speculate "that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer"
Rose, Axl
•17-years-in-the making album of plummets on chart after one week
Rove, Karl
•moronic jokes about shoes are made by soft pasty man named
Secret Service
•need of to improve defense against incoming shoes
shoes
•pair of belonging to Iraqi journalist is hurled at Bush
Spitzer, Eliot
•old and new careers of are compared by
Warren, Rick
•giving of donuts to gays by during protest against is cited by as proof of lack of homophobia of
Weyrich, Paul
•cessation of emission of bad vibes by
White House Christmas video
•feelings of humiliation are evoked in American viewers of
al-Zaidi, Muntader
•beating of by Iraqi security officers after shoes of are taken off and thrown at Bush by