President George W. Bush
Al-Qaeda
•perceived "pro-Obama press coverage is decried by
America
•debate about center-rightness of
Biggs, Abraham
•excessive intake of drugs by leads to death of, live on the Internet
Bush, Barbara
•hospitalization of prompts newspaper reference to as years-long "sunny presence in American life" despite the difficulty of coming up with examples, or even one example, of storied sunniness
•hospitalization of prompts snarky Website to observe that she's 83 "and has not looked a day over it since 1980"
Bush, George W.
•invitation to Hanukkah party at the home of features the image of, not a menorah or dreidl, but rather a Clydesdale horse hauling a Christmas tree toward White House
•poisoner of three American bald eagles is pardoned by
•possible intake of alcoholic beverage by
•prediction is made by that perks like Air Force One and White House cooking will be missed by
•turkey is pardoned by with no subsequent scenes of turkey carnage
Chambliss, Saxby
•unwanted questions to about ties to scandal-plagued sugar company lead to placement of hand over camera lens by
Coulter, Ann
•broken jaw of requires wiring shut of mouth of
Cutler, Jessica
• engagement of to man whose initial encounter with "is sort of a blur" because "I was so wasted"
dollars
•U.S. government's seemingly inexhaustible supply of hundreds of billions of
Edwards, Mickey
•Congressional investigation of Bush administration lawlessness is urged by
George, Boy
•trial of for allegedly manacling a male escort to bedroom wall and beating him with a chain
Guns N' Roses
•17-years-in-the-making new album by is critiqued as "overwhelmed by countless layers of studio diddling and a tone of curdled self-pity"
Hilton, Paris
•booing of by fellow Hollywood nightclub patrons
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
•disinclination of to acquire new books to publish is announced by
Majorski, Mario
•folly of approaching an armed guard at Scientology Celebrity Centre while wielding a samurai sword in each hand is learned the hardest possible way by
McCain, John
•continued unwillingness of to admit that choice of Palin by was, in effect, giving America the finger
McCartney, Paul
•eagerness of to sing "Michelle" to Mrs. Obama
National Review
• hilarious subscription appeal by
Obama, Barack
•enthusiasm for phrase "hit the ground running" of
•enthusiasm for phrase "there is only one President at a time" of
•record for number of press conferences held by a President-elect is broken by with eight weeks to go
O'Donnell, Rosie
•hopes of for revival of variety show format are dashed by intense lack of audience interest in
Osservatore Romano
•John Lennon is at last forgiven by for 42-year-old observation about the popularity of his band relative to that of Jesus
Palin, Sarah
•gratitude is expressed to by something called the Our Country Deserves Better PAC
•notion of as future Republican presidential nominee makes Governor Mark Sanford (R-SC) laugh
Simpson, Ashlee
•newborn son is named Bronx Mowgli by
Thompson, Fred
•abandonment of politics and re-embrace of "acting" (i.e. playing himself in front of a camera) is announced by
Updike, John
•lifetime achievement award for writing bad sex scenes is won by
Winehouse, Amy
•latest hospitalization of
•sordid sex life of