Paul Slansky's Weekly Index of the News

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•failure of leaders of to convince Congress to give lots of money to

Bush, George W.
•world leaders demonstrate not the slightest interest in shaking the hand of

Cheney, Dick
•public is given the pleasure, however ultimately empty, of seeing name of — and name of Alberto Gonzales — in headlines also containing the word "indictment"

Clinton, Hillary
•Kissinger approves of nomination as secretary of state of

Cruise, Suri
•'s annual "Hollywood's 10 Hottest Tots" list is topped by

Dupre, Ashley Alexandra
prostitution-free future of is envisioned by

Edwards, John
comeback efforts of are deemed premature by former aides to

Hill, E.D.
unrenewed Fox News contract of

Kristol, Bill
•reasons for removal of from New York Times op-ed page

Lieberman, Joseph
•retention of committee chairmanship of is wussily allowed by Democrats despite lack of apology by

Lohan, Lindsay
flour shower of

Love, Courtney
•blog blatherings of

McCain, John
•newfound free time of is spent suing Jackson Browne by

McConnell, Mitch
injured feelings of

McInturff, Bill
•Republican consultant Frank Luntz is called "a moron" by

Musgrave, Marilyn
•defeat of goes unacknowledged — if acknowledging it means having the simple courtesy to call her opponent and concede — by

National Review
•threat to intellectual reputation of

Obama, Barack
•cigarettes maybe not given up after all by
•end of brief Senate career of
leakage to press by aides of
•potential of inauguration of to become the biggest event in the history of the world
•relentless use of complete sentences by

Obama, Michelle
•ode to butt of

O'Donnell, Rosie
•inability of to stop rehashing experience on The View of

O'Reilly, Bill
•loathing for San Francisco of

Palin, Sarah
•Huckabee's envy of

turkeys are slaughtered in background as TV interview is merrily given by

"scratch-n-sniff" section accompanies "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE!" feature in latest issue of

Plumber, Joe the
•book deal is signed by

•Web site is launched by

Republican Party
record-breaking unpopularity of

•religion is blamed for record-breaking unpopularity of

Robbins, Tim
•voting problems of turn out to have been caused by self

Stafford, James Francis Cardinal
•Obama is called "aggressive, disruptive and apocalyptic" by

•Obama's "clenched jaw" is repeatedly noted by

Stevens, Ted
•Palin's Senate career is mercifully delayed by defeat of

Stone, Roger
•actions of that helped to make George W. Bush President are regretted by