Paul Slansky's Weekly Index of the News

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Tannen Maury / EPA

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama speaks at a campaign rally before a crowd at the American Legion Mall in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Bachmann, Michele
"anti-American nature" of Obama and other "people in Congress" is decried by

hundreds of thousands of dollars instantly flood into the campaign coffers of opponent of

Republican congressional campaign committee pulls TV ads for

Biden, Joe
resumption of serious gaffery by

Blackwell, Mr.
world is forced to get through future Januarys without 10 Worst Dressed lists of

Blakeman, Brad
opinion that Palin''s $150,000 wardrobe was less outrageous than Obama "taking a 767 campaign plane to go visit Grandma" is hatefully offered by

Bush, George W.
Guantanamo is not closed after all by

Chaffey Community Republican Women, Federated
newsletter featuring image of fake food stamp with Obama surrounded by fried chicken, ribs and watermelon is sent out by

Family Guy
McCain/Palin button is worn by Nazi in episode of

Giuliani, Rudy
failure of media to investigate Obama's youthful drug use is found to be extremely frustrating by

Greenspan, Alan
financial meltdown rocks the world of

Hayes, Robin
crowd is advised to "make sure we don't say something stupid" by

crowd is told "liberals hate real Americans" by

Howard, Ron
Obama ad featuring Andy Griffith, Henry Winkler and self is created by

Iglesias, David
• FBI's ACORN voter fraud investigation is scoffed at by

Limbaugh, Rush
Powell's race-based reason for endorsing Obama is intuited by

McCain, Cindy
unhappiness of with New York Times story about

McCain, Joe
911 is called to complain about traffic jam by

McCain, John
•Al Qaeda's endorsement of

campaign of is called "truly Dukakis-like" by former advisor to

classic slip of the tongue is made by

exorbitant spending on Palin wardrobe is explained by

funny faces of

giggle-inducing gobbledygook of

Obama is accused of telling Florida crowds he's rooting for the Rays and telling Philadelphia crowds he's rooting for the Phillies by

•Palin is called "the best thing that could have happened to my campaign and to America" by

•Palin is called "the most qualified of any that has run recently for vice president" by

Powell endorsement of Obama is countered with telenovela actress's endorsement of by

Murtha, John
Bidenesque gaffes of

National Review
speculation that Obama "very possibly" would have been aborted if Roe v. Wade had been the law of the land in 1961 is raised by writer on Website of

New York Times Magazine, The
•chaos of McCain campaign is detailed in

Obama, Barack
encouraging poll results for

endorsement by Scott McClellan and others of

"rhetorical flourishes" of running mate are noted by

Palin, Sarah
Alaska is charged for children's travel expenses by

Beluga whale is declared an endangered species despite the objections of

delight at finding self in "pro-America area" of the country is expressed by

inability to explain what a precondition is of

ncreasing fears about and unpopularity of

long-time desire to have son named "Zamboni" is revealed by

release of medical records of is promised and reneged on by

self-identified as intellectual by

utter ignorance of the actual duties of the job being sought is displayed by

Pfotenhauer, Nancy
•distinction between northern Virginia and "real Virginia" is drawn by

Powell, Colin
•McCain campaign is eviscerated by

Sedaris, David
vivid metaphor for undecided voters is offered by

Stevens, Ted
• explanation as to why a chair that was given to him and kept by him was not actually a gift is offered by

Stubbs, Levi
passing of

Todd, Chuck
lack of chemistry between McCain and Palin is noted by

•readiness to be vice president is declared by current mayor of

Western Carolina University
•dead bear cub shot in head and covered with Obama signs turns up on campus of