Paul Slansky's Weekly Wrapup

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Lucy Nicholson / Reuters

Clay Aiken

Aiken, Clay
•homosexuality of at long last acknowledged by

anonymous U.S. Treasury spokeswoman
•says $700 billion figure is "not based on any particular data point. We just wanted to choose a really large number"

Biden, Joe
•says Obama ad attacking McCain's computer illiteracy was "terrible"
•says Obama better not try to take away either of his shotguns
•says paying higher taxes is "patriotic"
•says, "When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on television"

Blaine, David
TV viewers uninterested in 60-hour hanging-upside-down stunt of

Bounds, Tucker
•claims McCain deserves credit for previously-thrashed-out bailout deal that fell apart when McCain arrived in Washington

Brown, Campbell
•McCain campaign attacked for coddling Palin by

Bush, George W.
•newfound awareness that "it turns out that there's a lot of interlinks throughout the financial system" is shared by
•responsibility for yet another Brobdingnagian fiasco that befell the nation on his watch yet again not taken by

Bush, Sharon
•proposal for unflattering book on Bushes being shopped around by

Cheney, Dick
•Federal judge rejects claim of that vice president is not part of executive branch of government

Clinton, Bill
•McCain publicly gushed about by
•Palin publicly gushed about by

Collins, Gail
•says of Bush's speech, "There is, in a way, a kind of talent required to tell the nation that it's teetering on the brink of disaster in a way that makes the viewers' attention wander"

•magazine of American Association of Actuaries features exquisitely ill-timed McCain article praising deregulation and suggesting that the health care industry emulate the banking industry

Davis, Rick
millions of dollars received from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac's financial relationship with is revealed by New York Times
•New York Times is excoriated as being "150 percent in the tank" for Obama by

•is photographed stepping in a dog turd

Frank, Barney
•McCain mocked by

Gervais, Ricky
funniest performance on Emmy Awards show turned in by

Gingrich, Newt
•McCain's suspension of campaigning assessed by as "the greatest single act of responsibility ever taken by a presidential candidate"

Greenwald, Robert
•ads demanding release of McCain's medical records produced by

Herzberg, Jessica
•is fired by Fox News for "Obama's babymama" chyron

Letterman, David
•last-minute cancellation by McCain more than avenged by

McCain, John
•efforts to extricate self from debate of
•50th reunion of Naval Academy class he finished fifth from the bottom in attended by
•makes grandiose announcement of suspension of campaign, though all aspects of campaign aside from his personal appearances continue unabated
•says he has "not had a chance" in three days to read administration's 2½-page bailout plan
sits quietly during White House meeting he suspended his campaign to attend
•suspension of campaigning assessed by Republican strategist as "desperate and nuts"

Menendez, Bob
•intent to not "be stampeded into rubber-stamping" bailout announced by

Michael, George
•inability to stop being arrested in public toilets of
•remorse expressed by to fans "for screwing up again" and to "everybody else, just for boring them"

New York Yankees
existence of Roger Clemens denied by

Obama, Barack
•calls McCain to suggest issuing joint statement on bailout plan, only to have McCain rush in front of cameras minutes later and announce unilateral position
•says thanks but no thanks to McCain's call to delay first debate and points out that "It is going to be part of the President's job to deal with more than one thing at once"

O'Brien, Pat
•is fired from job at The Insider after saying hosts make viewers want to "vomit"

Palin, Sarah
•being on the ground in Alaska when Putin flies over it is cited as foreign policy experience by
•meets and is photographed with two world leaders and Henry Kissinger
•possibility of another Great Depression warned about by
•is unable to cite single example of McCain's efforts to reform banking industry, finally tells Katie Couric "I'll try to find ya some and I'll bring 'em to ya"

Paulson, Henry M., Jr.
•proposal that Congress give him $700 billion to use however he wants with absolutely no oversight offered by

Rice, Condoleezza
•White House discussions about letting the CIA use coercive methods like waterboarding acknowledged by

Rock, Chris
Bill Clinton's difficulty uttering Obama's name noted by

Stevens, Ted
•secretly recorded conversation in which old friend says, "Ted gets hysterical when he has to spend his own money" is played at trial of

Will, George
•McCain compared to Queen of Hearts in Wonderland by
•McCain described as "a flustered rookie playing in a league too high" by
•McCain's unsuitability for the presidency due to his "dismaying temperament" suggested by

Zardari, Asif Ali
•Palin is told she's "even more gorgeous" than he'd thought by

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