The Tests on the Dress

WASHINGTON: After nearly a week with the evidence, the FBI likely knows by now whether the stain on Monica's bedeviling blue dress is DNA or something considerably less organic, like Reddi-Whip -- and that means Ken Starr probably knows too. TIME Washington correspondent Elaine Shannon says this is one tidbit that Ken Starr's suspiciously leak-prone operation won't be disseminating. "A secret like this will be hard to keep, but this time he's going to try his best," she says. "He wants to wait until after Clinton testifies, and surprise him."

If the stain is indeed what Starr hopes it is, he will then have to match the President to the DNA. Of course he would hope that Clinton volunteers the necessary blood or saliva, but more likely he'd have to serve a subpoena of sorts at Bethesda Naval Hospital, where the leader of the free world gets his physicals. Past behavior hardly suggests that the presidential genetic blueprint will be offered up without a fight. Get ready for the next big legal battle: Bodily-fluid privilege.