(3 of 3)
John—so pleased to see your article but I do not share your optimism, particularly now that I reside in a more conservative venue. Remember me—I now live in Rehoboth, come visit
Peter Schott
Rehoboth Beach, DE
Thanks for writing, Peter. I'm not sure I think of Rehoboth Beach, with its vibrant gay life, as a very conservative place! But then again, I don't live there.
I found the following excerpt from your article to be offensive: "Gay kids can subscribe to the 10-month-old glossy YGA Magazine (YGA stands for "young gay America") and meet thousands of other little gays via young gayamerica com or outproud.org. Gay boys can chat, vote for the Lord of the Rings character they would most like to date—Legolas is leading—learn how to have safe oral sex and ogle pictures of young men in their underwear on the ruttish chadzboyz.com" While I applaud the article, I wonder why you found it necessary to use the phrase "other little gays..." At best it sounds patronizing; at worst, it rings of bigotry. What were you thinking?
Jean Beckmann
Staples, MN
I meant no offense, and I confess I don't understand how it rings of bigotry. I use the terms "kids" and "teens" and "youths" so much in the article that I occasionally wanted to mix it up.
I'm a sixty-year-old lesbian. I am delighted (and envious) that today's gay youth often have GSAs in their high schools. I was a very shy and lonely teenager.
Your story concentrated on the gay male experience, both teenage and adult. It seemed that you talked to just one young lesbian (Maya Marcel-Keyes) and no adult lesbians at all. Why? Was that deliberate?
Carol Anne Sundahl
Seattle WA
I interviewed six young lesbians and several adult lesbians. The Exodus conference was about 70 boys and 30 girls, so that affected my reporting a bit. I had profiled a young lesbian Point Scholar at some length in the story, but because her situation changed dramatically in the last few weeks—she was displaced by the first hurricane and had to move back home—I couldn't complete the reporting I needed about her.
Thank you for this article. It really put both sides of coming out into perspective for me. I came out to my parents 2 years ago in February, but not how I'd planned. I'd wanted to tell them since I was 14, but it took me leaving XY.com on the computer on accident for me to face them. I didn't get kicked out 'directly' but was asked to leave. If I'd known of more support groups, I might've turned to them, but at Rider High School in Wichita Falls, Tx., even the counselors recommend hiding this issue. I don't like the sound of this Exodus thing, it's too much like training homosexual teens to hide what they really feel and lie to someone of the opposite sex by saying they're content with them, maybe its just me. I just wish I could've told my parents in my own way.
Tim Byars
Vancouver, Wa
Many of the young gays I interviewed did not directly come out but were found out by their parents—very often when something (an IM, a diary, a web page) was discovered by their parents. I didn't get into it in the article, but that's another reason I think more kids are "coming out"—they are actually found out. Thanks for writing.
You didn't get to the bottom line of the great divide. Christians feel homosexuality is a sin. See Romans 1. A sin no greater than glutony, drunkeness, etc. If I have feelings for another man and am a married woman I cannot act on those feelings, if I have a desire for 10 beers acting on those feelings is sin. If I have feelings for another woman acting on those feelings is sin. The feelings aren't sin. It's the people who say homosexuality is hereditary ( never proven), and it can't be helped, are the same people who say embrace your gluttony/fatness/curves. Show no restrain or adherence to the Designer's laws. I love it when gays accept ME, but I don't like the ones who have said, "unless you can say this is not sin, we cannot have a relationship." See the difference? It is quite the dividing line, that can only be navigated with love. Who wants to be tolerated? No one! We all want to be loved. Sins, blemishes, faults, and all.
Diane Keyes
Morristown, New Jersey
Thanks for writing. I appreciate your perspective, though I must disagree that gays generally embrace both their sexual feelings and "fatness/curves." The cult of body image in the gay community is one of its worst characteristics—overweight people get even less respect from gays than from society as a whole. Gays may be many things, but they aren't very accepting of gluttony.
I saw that your article was mentioned on The O'Reilly Factor on Fox News Channel. I read over your article as I myself am gay and was interested in what had to be said. I would like to ask you, based on what Mr. Bill O'Reilly said: he thinks that youth shouldn't announce that they are gay and that it should be restrained to their private lives. Do you agree? Or would it be better for youth to "come out" which in turn, in my opinion, allows society to become more accustomed to the LGBT lifestyle and more generally accepted? Also, what would you recommend for teens who want to come out, but have issues that are holding them back, such as fear of rejection or retaliation from parents, family, friends, and peers?
Keith
Waldorf, Maryland
Thanks for writing. As I told Bill on air, I think he was being a bit naive. Teenagers date and have boyfriends and girlfriends from fairly young ages, and it's implausible to think that gay kids would not want to be part of that. So I think gay kids—and the evidence is on my side here—are going to come out whether Bill O'Reilly wants them to or not. But I also think they could not care less about making "the LGBT lifestyle...more generally accepted." I think they want to be happy, period. I would recommend that kids who want to come out begin with some online resources like outproud.org and younggayamerica.com, where they can meet thousands of others who have been through what they are going through.
Loved the story. is the kid on the cover one of the subjects mentioned in the story?
Matt
Omaha, Nebraska
His name is Corey Clark, and he is quoted in the story.