Fool On the Hill

Dan Burton thinks the White House bugs his phone. Dan Burton is so convinced Vince Foster was murdered that he brought a pistol into the backyard of his Indiana home and reenacted the crime -- reportedly with a pumpkin standing in for Foster's head. Dan Burton is so afraid of catching AIDS that he brings his own scissors to the House barbershop and refuses to eat soup at public restaurants. But the man who will do or say anything to nail Bill Clinton suddenly has the worst problem a paranoiac can have: He keeps making more enemies. And they're not just Democrats anymore.

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