Newt must also know that here across the pond, our own Founding Fathers still feared an American Cromwell more than a century later -- which is why America has a king of sorts to top the Executive Branch. Was Cromwell just a rabble-rousing Pat Buchanan with an army behind him? Fans and detractors of the Lord Protector would probably both say yes. But we're guessing Newt subscribes to the movie's version of history. All movie epics need a hero, and in Cromwell (1970), Harris' fierce title role is certainly that. Nobody could sit and glare in Parliament like Harris, and one doubts that even the real Cromwell wore that Puritan hat as well as the actor did. The British-made movie plays like Braveheart in the Beltway: a voice-vote for every broadsword. And with Parliament getting dissolved more times than Alka-Seltzer tablets after an all-day kielbasa roast, it does get a bit comical. But that's history.
There are other options -- buffs will recall America having a little civil war of its own, and you're more than welcome to digest Birth of a Nation (1915), Gettysburg (1993), or that whole Ken Burns thing. But for a divided government and a happy ending, Cromwell v. Clinton is the way to go. Even if the GOP grabs its pitchforks and rallies behind Newt, we need not fear for our presidency. Gingrich 2000 will see to that. But the mop-topped Georgian has a point: Maybe it's time for Americans to take sides in this one. And if they already have (that's what approval ratings are for) it still makes for an entertaining squabble -- as long as there are no beheadings without a proper referendum. Rent Cromwell. Rewind it afterward. And long live American politics.