The Last Word

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It's only a feeding frenzy if we lead with Monica, right? Perhaps that's why rain footage from both coasts dominated everyone's ten o'clock shows. Unlike CNN, which REALLY likes weather news, CNBC's Brian Williams skipped away after the obligatory eight minutes and rated Kenneth Starr by comparing his record to that of other special prosecutors throughout history. He ran a respectable second, but as Susan McDougal pointed out in her "Dateline" interview (rerun in full Wednesday as a filler for Brian), Starr's success is strictly Triple-A and hasn't made it out of Little Rock. CNN ran a sympathetic piece on all the Clinton little fish who've squandered their meager salaries on legal fees after getting nicked by one of Starr's subpoenas. George Stephanopoulos' $85,000 tab drove him to the second-oldest profession: punditry.

Secretary of Defense William Cohen visited Mr. King's neighborhood and waffled with Larry about the Iraq staredown. It was a beautiful day in the neighborhood when the next visitor, Democratic National Committee head Roy Romer, said that the contribution business is better than ever. Oh -- and he believes the President. Larry wrapped it up with the usual suspects: morality mogul Bill Bennett, Bob Squier (playing the Democrat) and Ed Rollins. Can you say b-o-r-i-n-g? Sure you can!

After Tuesday night's Karla Faye weeper, "Nightline" was back to nuts and bolts with explainers on two enemies Clinton can't do without: the rabid right and the ravenous press. The press segment was better, a cameraman's-eye view of a grand jury stakeout.

The Monica-joke well is getting seriously dry. The funniest moment of the night belonged to diminutive ex-labor secretary Robert Reich on "PI," claiming deadpan that in 30 years of friendship, Clinton had never tried to kiss him -- "not even a fondle." Odd. He's so cute, too.