Television: Star Chambers

Lights! Camera! Cristal! It's vicarious fame and fortune on cable's home-tour shows

Inside the house that thongs Built--all six bedrooms, 5 1/2 baths, 5,400 sq. ft. of it--MTV Cribs follows rapper Sisqo as he takes a container of takeout Chinese into the bathroom (offering a demo of the bidet), strolls through the walk-in closet full of Sean John outfits (price tags still attached) and stops in a surprisingly conservative front room dominated by a gigantic classical bust ("Chicks like the head. 'Cause it's big"). Most important, in the massive kitchen, comes the requisite money shot of any Cribs: the fridge. The Thong Song bard opens the door, revealing no food more solid than...

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