How I Will Save the Economy

At first it felt good, this tanking-economy thing. My friends from Stanford no longer had options to brag about, my mom stopped rubbing my face in her precious Cisco stock, and I was hearing a lot less from James Cramer. But then I realized it might affect me: no more free deliveries of items ordered on the Web, the end of the tasting menu, less airtime for Maria Bartiromo--even an e-mail about getting rid of the free Snapple from our office refrigerators, though I may have hastened that by hoarding the remaining cases under my desk late one night last week.

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