London, France But No Underpants

Grammys are given out in 100 mind-numbing categories. If you didn't win one, you clearly weren't trying. With so much hardware so readily available, the real competition at last week's ceremony took place between artists trying to bend ever lower beneath the limbo bar of exuberant tastelessness. Madonna, 42, mother of two, staked an early claim by writhing on a hood ornament in a material girl tank top. She was soon followed by 'N Sync's Justin Timberlake, sporting a new haircut and a shirt that appeared to be made of carpaccio, and Christina Aguilera, fresh from her stay on Temptation Island....

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