The Columnistic Stylings of Me

They tricked me into thinking I had it pretty good--free Snapple, a service that delivers cake when it's someone's birthday, doing nothing the entire week except the three hours it takes to write this column. But now I see through their attempts to buy my soul's work through cheap trinkets like a corporate AmEx card and health benefits. Yes, we writers, we conjurers of phrases, we have been used like, I will expend metaphors for the Man no longer. Not since I learned that the Writers Guild of America has issued a list of demands and will go on strike...

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