Swimmer Jenny Thompson has won more gold medals than any other American woman in Olympic history
Q. What the hell are you wearing?
A. Gold chain mail. I melted my gold.
Q. That's Gary Hall Jr. over there?
Q. What's up with his hair?
A. He's got great hair.
Q. He's got Elvis hair. I wish we had done this before, when we were sober.
A. No. It's better drunk.
Q. What's with Inge de Bruijn wearing all that makeup in the pool? That's not very athlete-like.
A. I know some swimmers who have tattooed makeup. I didn't notice...