The human genome project has found that any two people are, genetically speaking, 99.9% identical. And a universal gene that scientists are sure to discover is the one that makes all adult humans regret that they didn't stick with piano lessons. I lasted only a year, when I was 12. This summer, on vacation, I passed a mahogany upright in a hotel lobby, and my fingers itched to open its lid and conjugate the verb "to tinkle." Of course, there was a sign taped to it that read, "Please do not play the piano." No problem. They might as well have...
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