I Spent Two Years Researching This Column

I'm not much into community service, but I do like the idea of small children idolizing me. That's why I couldn't resist signing up for the Time to Read program, where I would meet with a 12-year-old once a week for two years and improve his reading skills. I also know that I'm highly unreliable, so I got two co-workers to sign up with me. Bravely opting for the "condensed, intensive" training seminar, we withstood three hours and eight chocolate chip cookies to listen to two of the sweetest women I've ever wanted to kill say the phrase "read with the...

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