What, No Turtle Wax?

Vicious competition dominated television last week. After ABC added an extra night of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire to counter CBS's Survivor, Americans had to choose between watching real people withstand Regis Philbin's questions and watching real people withstand adverse conditions and 15 other disagreeable castaways. Add to that ESPN's broadcast of the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee, and the carnage of human ego was inescapable.

WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE

HOST The irrepressible inquisitor Regis Philbin SETTING Orwellian studio in Manhattan ELIMINATED CONTESTANT Jim Faggiana, who mistakenly identified violinist Midori as a cellist VIEWERS TUNED IN To see...

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