Thanks, I Must Be Going

The Webby Awards, the Oscars of the Internet, have found a solution to painfully long acceptance speeches. At the ceremony this Thursday night, winners must limit their thank-yous to five words. If only the Oscars would take the cue:

OSCAR VERSION Cher, Best Actress, 1988: "I'd like to thank everyone I worked with on the movie. They were really fabulous. It was really a great experience for me. My makeup man, who had a lot to work with. My hairdresser. My assistant..."

WEBBY VERSION This was all about me.

OSCAR VERSION Laurence Olivier, Honorary Oscar, 1979: "In the great wealth, the...

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