Jailbird's Song

MARTHA STEWART is ready for her lockup. Though she will continue to appeal her obstruction-of-justice conviction, the lifestyle entrepreneur asked a judge last week to let her start serving her five-month sentence immediately--ideally releasing her in time "to plant the new spring garden," she said at a news conference. Stewart lamented how she'll miss "my two beloved, fun-loving dogs, my seven lively cats, my canaries, my horses and even my chickens." Human beings may begin to interest Stewart more after she is forced to eat, bathe and sleep in close quarters with them.

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