First of all, for the uninitiated, here are three surefire, clinically tested signs that you are a Muggle:
1) You spot a boy or girl whose forehead is emblazoned with a paste-on tattoo in the shape of a purple lightning bolt and have no idea what you are seeing.
2) You still believe reading is a lost art, especially among the young, and books have been rendered obsolete in our electronic, hot-wired age.
3) You don't know what a Muggle is.
Fortunately, such ignorance has become almost ridiculously easy to remedy. Simply place yourself in the vicinity of...