Emeril, Eat My Dust. BAM!

I love TV cooking shows. For my money, Julia Child is on a par with the Pope. (Can't you just see the two of them making pierogi together?) Martha Stewart scares me, but every once in a while I join her 2 million other weekday viewers, just to gauge my inadequacies. I'm also hoping to win the lottery someday. I refer, of course, to the lottery for tickets to Emeril Live!, the hottest offering on the Food Network. For every week of tapings, the network says, it receives 150,000 requests for just 1,500 seats.

I used to imagine my own...

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