The Rest Of Monica Lewinsky

A satirist looks into his crystal ball and foresees Lewinsky's future

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AFP / Getty

Monica Lewinsky began her White House internship in July 1995

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APRIL 2040 The Clinton presidential library opens in Fibb, Ark. Owing to Clinton's somewhat controversial reputation, it has taken longer than usual to raise the money to build the library. The library, consisting of three double-wide trailers parked next to one another, is, according to local architect Euple ("Big") Monroe, "sorta smaller than most of them other presidential libraries, but it's your same basic idea." The only reference to Monica is in the exhibit titled "Years of Mendacity, Years of Tenacity," curated by longtime Clinton aide Sidney Blumenthal: "Following the magnificent triumphs of the first term, an intern whom President Clinton had selflessly agreed to mentor became obsessed with him. Rather than hurt her feelings, the President attempted on several occasions to minister to her physically. The episode, blown out of proportion by the vast right-wing conspiracy and the media, only strengthened the President's resolve to leave the presidency stronger, more dignified and more honorable than he found it."

JULY 2073 Unsolved Mysteries does a two-hour special on the centennial of Monica's birth. It is mostly a rehash of the hundreds of Monica "sightings," except for "startling new evidence" that someone resembling Monica was seen "tinkering" with Linda Tripp's Chevy Suburban shortly before it went off the road into the Potomac River in January 2001.

CHRISTOPHER BUCKLEY is editor of Forbes FYI magazine. His novel Little Green Men will be published this spring.

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