WINNERS
BILL CLINTON Mysterious magnetic star sends dangerous rays toward earth. At last, the diversion he's prayed for!
THE WB Network's young lust-and-angst formula a winner; MSNBC tries to copy, but Monica's no Felicity
SHANE SPENCER Young Yank out-homering Big Mac. An immortal? Who cares? This is a sweet spot in time
& LOSERS
DESMOND PFEIFFER Stupid series mugs Lincoln, mocks slavery. Pronounced "Puh-feiffer," as in "Puh-thetic"
ALAN GREENSPAN Like a parsimonious tipper, he grudgingly pares the prime. Way to solve the financial crisis!
HELMUT KOHL It will take a big man to fill his shoes, though not as...