In the immortal words of Kermit the Frog, it's not easy being green. But Kermit doesn't know what hard is: it is much, much more difficult to be a Teletubby. This is a fact that you are not likely to hear from the mouth of a Tubby; in fact, the actors--yes, those are real actors inside those bright, baby-shaped alien outfits--are contractually forbidden to talk to their adoring public. "My favorite color is green," says Dipsy, played by John Simmit, rolling his eyes. "That's all I'm allowed to say." And if the Teletubby creators had their way, we might not even...
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