Commencement Speech: Get A Job

Members of the class of 1998: In an effort to alter history, I would like to give you students a commencement speech that is both memorable and useful. It consists of a list of jobs that are readily available to young college graduates, but are rarely, if ever, considered to be within their reach. The mistake made by most of you is that you aim too low--assistants to administrative assistants and the like--whereas the positions I am about to describe are not only exalted and high paying; they also require little or no work, experience, training or knowledge. Thus they are...

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