CINEMA: MOVIE: IMPROBABLE

THE NEW MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE HAS EVERYTHING IT NEEDS--EXCEPT HUMAN BEINGS. AND WHAT'S UP WITH TOM CRUISE'S HAIRCUT?

A McGuffin, a mole, a master criminal. Many minor characters of menacing mien, dubious loyalty and short life expectancy. Computer and explosive technology to die for (many will). An imperturbably resourceful undercover agent (in this case Tom Cruise) who must, among other strenuous chores, penetrate a supposedly impregnable vault wherein reposes a secret, sacred document that everybody else is pursuing too. And last but not least: a helicopter/train chase ending in the predictable fireball that equally predictably fails even to singe Cruise's beetle brows.

Check, check, check. Yep, they're all here, all the spy-movie conventions--right down to the hoariest of them...

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