YOU SAY POTATO...

...AND I SAY LEAVE THE DOWNSIZED LIFE BEHIND AND HEAD FOR WHERE THE CARIBOU ROAM

Tomorrow morning you go to work at Amalgamated Potato and find an envelope on your desk with the CEO's name in the upper-left corner, and you sit down and draw a deep breath. After 22 years working your way up through the Skin Division, you are about to become road kill, one more confused raccoon smeared across the corporate highway.

Amalgamated has been downsizing like crazy for two years now. Everyone works 60 hours a week and goes home with a briefcase as big as a garment bag. You have languished at your present salary, in the mid five digits, for...

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