Whitewater will never be a mini-series--too much trailer park, too few Gulfstreams jetting to private islands, amounts in the low-six rather than high-seven figures, and a low quotient of hunks. That may explain why Democrats, who last May joined a 96-3 vote authorizing the ethically challenged Senator Alfonse D'Amato to chair the Whitewater Committee, now are holding firm against an open extension of the hearings. After eight months there's no smoking gun, no smoking anything, just a simmering stew of subdivided Ozark property without sewer lines and endless minutiae about closing costs and mortgage points. No one knows the protagonists--imagine trying...

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