The crucial difference between Ultimate Fighting, the bareknuckle battles on pay-per-view TV that some lawmakers want to ban, and a game we played in grade school called Dirty Soccer is that Ultimate Fighting specifically prohibits biting and eye gouging.

I'm not trying to imply that a contest in which some brute is permitted to pound his opponent into submission by nearly any means at his disposal--a knee to the groin, a stomp on the nose--is, when all is said and done, slightly wimpish. I certainly mean no disrespect to those who participate in Ultimate Fighting and may list their hobbies as...

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