Scene: The Oval Office. The television lights and cameras are ready.
Disembodied voice: "Five, four, three, two, one."
Q. Good evening, Mr. President. Thank you for allowing us and our viewing audience to join you here.
A. My pleasure, I'm sure.
Q. For openers, Sir, let's suppose you have a grandchild . . .
A. I do, plenty of 'em . . .
Q. And that grandchild came to you and admitted that he had once smoked marijuana while listening to a bootlegged Megadeth tape on a Sony Walkman, and that he had passed the joint on to a multicultural friend...