Less Wretched Excess, Please

Let's face it. The Olympics have finally spun out of control. Think not? Then take the following quiz: Who was the gold-medal winner in Rhythmic Gymnastics? What is Rhythmic Gymnastics? Name the horse Australian Matthew Ryan rode to victory in the Three-Day Equestrian Event. Who was the Single Worldwide Food Sponsor of the Games?

Answering four out of four correctly indicates that you have a serious psychological disorder that will require extensive hospitalization. Getting three out of four places you at the exalted "Hodori Level of Olympic Achievement." This allows you to pose for a picture (taken by the official camera...

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