Music: Lady Of Spain, I Abhor You . . .

Should accordion players register with the authorities?

Scientists have known for a while that it is the shifting of tectonic plates that produces earthquakes. What scientists should be grateful to learn is that the reason the plates shift is that somebody is playing the piano accordion. Tectonic plates are very sensitive: they cannot abide the sound of accordion playing, and when they hear all that caterwauling, they shift uncomfortably, jolting the Richter scale to A above high C. It is no coincidence that earthquakes occur wherever huge numbers of accordion players congregate. Many of them are said to be aswarm in eastern China, where earthquakes are common, although...

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